Really Big Guns : An FPS Parody
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:13 pm
You are Super-Secret UnderCover Operative Sam Walker.Your mission is "Generic FPS Stuff".Basically, kill everything you can.
You start in the Overly Fat Director-type Guys' office, where he sends you to a hole in the wall, and you have a conversation there with him ." I don't want to go down there....i might meet something Unreal." "Awww...I'm Serious, Sam---I think you should" " But I might meet my Doom." " Quakeing with Fear, then? Here take this health-pak, I don't want you to have only a Half Life"
You go down the hole, which leads to Extemely Dark Hallway # 1, which then takes you to That-Room-Full-of-Useless-Sci-Fi-Machines.You go down Generic Stairs to Required-Warehouse-Level , where you see a bunch o guys with recorders hanging around the bathroom....you get near, and realise they're recording the guy having a dump( Ungh...Argh....Hngh!) and discussing using those sounds as FPS jumping and running sounds.
After you whap everything here.....you then proceed to The-Crate-Room.A room off this one leads to the first boss.....Forever Bleeding Guy.After you kill him, he starts bleeding all over the place, and you have to leave, or be drowned.You now have a Keycard, which allows you to open a door now!So, you do so....and find yourself on GameConvention Floor!You sneak around in this place, listening to the convo's here" gamer 1 - Quack 16 is the greatest ever!" gamer 2 " No Hail no is the best!" gamer 3 -" Dumb 9 is the best" ( also, Random Magazine Interview Guy is Interviewing Insecure-Game-Dev-Guy #1: " what new stuff do you have in this game?' 'Well, we now have Nose-Hair shaders! Adding just that much more realism to our game! Oh---and Jiggleonics for the female characters , too.......")
You blast everything here , have a Generic Boss Fight, and then Go to Tiny-Outdoors -Area, which you can Blink and miss it.
It leads to DeathMatch Arena!Or, as i like to call it -Whack-A-Noob!Noobs will be running into and getting stuck in walls, falling off everything, running into each other....and you have to whack 'em all!
Long Hallway With ridiculous Monsters is next, which leads to.....well you'll find out.....heh........
Visually, it's going to be similar to the Quake 2 and Half-life games, in all their fuzzy glory!Where the really Big Guns comes in at is this : Ain't no danged way IRL you'll ever pick up and run with a chaingun, so in this game....you get : Railguns to run with and shoot!I'm talking the Biggest FPS Gun Ever: a 1944 German RailGun!If you can run with a chaingun, you can run with this, too......
Critters will be : Required Nazi guys, Ever-Present-Zombies,Those-ugly-Spider-Things,and a few other generic FPS enemies........
Other ideas are being worked out, as is the first level...of which i'll soon have screens.....heh.
Tagline for it---Get yer FPS on.
What ya think?
You start in the Overly Fat Director-type Guys' office, where he sends you to a hole in the wall, and you have a conversation there with him ." I don't want to go down there....i might meet something Unreal." "Awww...I'm Serious, Sam---I think you should" " But I might meet my Doom." " Quakeing with Fear, then? Here take this health-pak, I don't want you to have only a Half Life"
You go down the hole, which leads to Extemely Dark Hallway # 1, which then takes you to That-Room-Full-of-Useless-Sci-Fi-Machines.You go down Generic Stairs to Required-Warehouse-Level , where you see a bunch o guys with recorders hanging around the bathroom....you get near, and realise they're recording the guy having a dump( Ungh...Argh....Hngh!) and discussing using those sounds as FPS jumping and running sounds.
After you whap everything here.....you then proceed to The-Crate-Room.A room off this one leads to the first boss.....Forever Bleeding Guy.After you kill him, he starts bleeding all over the place, and you have to leave, or be drowned.You now have a Keycard, which allows you to open a door now!So, you do so....and find yourself on GameConvention Floor!You sneak around in this place, listening to the convo's here" gamer 1 - Quack 16 is the greatest ever!" gamer 2 " No Hail no is the best!" gamer 3 -" Dumb 9 is the best" ( also, Random Magazine Interview Guy is Interviewing Insecure-Game-Dev-Guy #1: " what new stuff do you have in this game?' 'Well, we now have Nose-Hair shaders! Adding just that much more realism to our game! Oh---and Jiggleonics for the female characters , too.......")
You blast everything here , have a Generic Boss Fight, and then Go to Tiny-Outdoors -Area, which you can Blink and miss it.
It leads to DeathMatch Arena!Or, as i like to call it -Whack-A-Noob!Noobs will be running into and getting stuck in walls, falling off everything, running into each other....and you have to whack 'em all!
Long Hallway With ridiculous Monsters is next, which leads to.....well you'll find out.....heh........
Visually, it's going to be similar to the Quake 2 and Half-life games, in all their fuzzy glory!Where the really Big Guns comes in at is this : Ain't no danged way IRL you'll ever pick up and run with a chaingun, so in this game....you get : Railguns to run with and shoot!I'm talking the Biggest FPS Gun Ever: a 1944 German RailGun!If you can run with a chaingun, you can run with this, too......
Critters will be : Required Nazi guys, Ever-Present-Zombies,Those-ugly-Spider-Things,and a few other generic FPS enemies........
Other ideas are being worked out, as is the first level...of which i'll soon have screens.....heh.
Tagline for it---Get yer FPS on.
What ya think?