The guide to getting a job
Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 5:41 am
i was bored so i wrote this
The Attoney's Guide to getting a job
PART I : Getting a client
Required Materials:
Dead Mom/Dad
Concealable handgun
You're a defense attorney? No job? Money going down the drain? Well look no further! This guide is to help you get a a defendant!
First, find a suitable defendant, preferably if it was a murder case. Talk to them, introduce yourself. If they seem desperate, thats great! Talk to them and ask if they have an attorney. If yes, shoot them and find a new defendant. If no, pretend to be passionate. Start talking about your mom and how great she was. Then say, when you were young, she was involved with a case like yours. Say she was really innocent, like you, and the defense attorney tried to get her out. Tell them it really saddens them since she was just like you but she ended up in prison and tell them she died of a broken heart because she was falsely accused and tell them you don't want that to happen to them, and just fill it up with a ton of crap and flattery and all the stuff that makes them cry. If they say no, shoot them. If yes, well you have a case
PART II : The trial
Required Materials:
Elderly Grandmother, doesn't have to be yours
Concealable handgun
a little kid to use as a hostage
i was really bored.....
The Attoney's Guide to getting a job
PART I : Getting a client
Required Materials:
Dead Mom/Dad
Concealable handgun
You're a defense attorney? No job? Money going down the drain? Well look no further! This guide is to help you get a a defendant!
First, find a suitable defendant, preferably if it was a murder case. Talk to them, introduce yourself. If they seem desperate, thats great! Talk to them and ask if they have an attorney. If yes, shoot them and find a new defendant. If no, pretend to be passionate. Start talking about your mom and how great she was. Then say, when you were young, she was involved with a case like yours. Say she was really innocent, like you, and the defense attorney tried to get her out. Tell them it really saddens them since she was just like you but she ended up in prison and tell them she died of a broken heart because she was falsely accused and tell them you don't want that to happen to them, and just fill it up with a ton of crap and flattery and all the stuff that makes them cry. If they say no, shoot them. If yes, well you have a case
PART II : The trial
Required Materials:
Elderly Grandmother, doesn't have to be yours
Concealable handgun
a little kid to use as a hostage
i was really bored.....